A personal share of my history with food & movement
Personal share ahead. *Trigger warning for an open discussion about a history with food and movement.
Movement has been a beautiful way for me to release tension and stress, feel strong, look after my body, and experience that amazing feeling from endorphin release.
Movement has also been a way for me to punish myself for eating food, has been an activity that I have forced myself to partake in because of the belief that “I should” and the pressure around “having to”, and has been an activity partaken in on the back of an exhausting effort to reduce my body size or achieve the “ideal body”.
Eating “well” has been a way for me to feel energised from food and “feel” good from eating nutritious foods (because at these times I am describing there is genuine enjoyment involved with eating foods flooded with nutrients) as well as joyfully exploring all of the roles of food & eating, including pleasure, social connection and comfort mindfully.
Eating “well” has also felt like a chore where I’d wished I could be tube fed food so I could have a guarantee that I wouldn’t exceed my “daily requirements”, it has been restriction from not believing my body or “I” deserved any more food (or particular foods), and it has been excessive and debilitating worry about what a food would do to my body shape or “set back” all my hard work and “progress”.
Both eating “well” and moving my body have been beautiful activities to partake in from a really good place from a wonderful place of self-care, and in the same heartbeat, the same “activities” have also been catalysts for my own disordered eating history.
***It is the intention behind our behaviours that matters most. Two activities = two very different intentions = two very different outcomes.*** Keep reading over that.
My disordered eating history is just that. History. It was part of my thread to lead me to the place I am in now of helping others. You won’t find me talking too much about my own history on here because I believe this is a space for YOU. You to learn, grow, and challenge perspectives. But, I do believe my experiences have allowed me to understand the people who sit in front of me on a deeper level and also how challenging this journey is and can be for some – the journey of eliminating the external pressures of diet culture and returning home to you through the journey of Intuitive Eating. My intention behind this personal share is the hope that you can pull something from it that allows you to think deeper on your own self and your deeper intentions behind the activities you partake in
Take home: Every piece of advice you speak about regarding eating and movement might be coming from a good place inside your own heart, but you cannot guarantee what the person sitting in front of you is going through or where they are at, and how that message will be absorbed. No matter who you are, friend, family, Dietitian, Health Professional, Doctor, Life coach, practitioner. There is a significant percentage of our population living with disordered eating which flies under the radar and is celebrated when we don’t understand diet culture or the ways in which it manifests. I think this is just SUCH an important thing to be aware of.
As always, reach out if you need support <3
The Intuitive Dietitian xx